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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22361242">I love you so so much</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressionkitty/pseuds/depressionkitty'>depressionkitty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellarke, Bellarke Endgame, Christmas, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:02:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,670</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22361242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/depressionkitty/pseuds/depressionkitty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place over five Christmas celebrations where Clarke and Bellamy have to realize their feelings for each other</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Echo/Luna (The 100), Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Josephine Lightbourne/Gabriel Santiago | Xavier, Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I love you so so much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hope you guys like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>December 24th, 2015</strong>
</p><p>"Isn't this a bit much?" Clarke dared to ask as she hung her fifth mistletoe across the living room. "Are you trying to start an-"</p><p>"I swear to God", Octavia came out of the kitchen, putting drinks on the table, "if you say the word 'orgy', I'll kill you." </p><p>Clarke snorted as she got off the chair she had been standing on. "Overreaction, perhaps? After all these years, that's what would end our friendship?" </p><p>"It's only because Murphy and Raven has already made the joke individually", Harper answered as she came into the apartment living room, holding a plate of cookies. "Pretty sure Jasper is gonna do it too, though." </p><p>"Ha!" Octavia yells with a triumphant smile, pointing a finger at Clarke. "You're joke's not original, you're all just perverted." </p><p>Clarke grabbed the finger and grinned. "Or maybe we have a point about the mistletoes." </p><p>Octavia pulled back her finger with a pout, ever since her pregnancy began she's been starting to act like a child again. "I like mistletoes." Lincoln entered the room, having changed into a white shirt for the party, and O immediately lit up. "Any excuse I can get to kiss my man." </p><p>He got a dorky smile on his face and walked over to her, giving her a chaste kiss - managing to avoid her baby bump. </p><p>"You don't need any excuses for that, babe", he told her, rubbing circles into her stomach with his thumbs. "I'm always at your service." </p><p>Clarke groaned. She was the only single left in the group (other than Bellamy... as far as she knew) and had trying to avoid the anxious feelings she had over it. It had been six months since she and Lexa broke up, but the girl had already gotten engaged to someone else. Everything about this holiday and the romance Clarke was surrounded by... hurt. With Bellamy having been away for nearly two years now too, didn't make it easier. Although she had hated him when they first met in their teens, he had become Clarke's best friend (and she had unresolved feelings for him, but that isn't something she would ever admit to anyone). They talked on the phone almost everyday, although that had its downsides too. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>1 year ago</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was packing up. After having said goodbye to Lincoln and Indra (her favorite co-workers at the art gallery), Clarke left the building and began walking home. As she did so, she walked past a pet store with puppies by the window. Clarke couldn't help herself from stopping and staring in awe at the cute little pups. That's when her phone called. Taking it out of her pocket, she smiled when she saw Bellamy's name across it along with the picture she had taken off him, her and Octavia on her and O's graduation. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She answered the calling with: "I'm thinking about getting a dog. What do you think about a bulldog?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A snort on the other side of the call, followed by a chuckle made her smile. Then his dark voice came in. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you get a dog you need one that's as lazy as you are... so yeah, a bulldog could work." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke laughed as she began walking away from the pet store, continuing back home. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Jeez, you've been away for so long that I guess I must have forgotten how big of an ass you can be." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>This time it was his turn to laugh, which made Clarke's heart swell with pride. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ouch, princess", she hated how her cheeks flushed at his old nickname for her. "Don't tell me you haven't missed me." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke snorted with a roll of her eyes as she entered her apartment building. "Meh... I suppose your presence has been somewhat yearned for." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy chuckled again and Clarke hated how much she missed him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, hey!" she realized. "Why did you call in the first place?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah...", he said slowly and his tone now sorrowful, Clarke's heart dropped. "I have been offered a full-time position at the university... and I will have to work through the holidays, I can't afford going home and then immediately back here." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke stood outside the door to her apartment with tears in her eyes, she had missed him so long and only waited for him to come back home. With a deep subtle breath, Clarke collected herself. </em>
</p><p><em>"I'm sorry... have you told O?" </em> <em>She opened her door and entered... to a complete mess and Echo sitting on the couch hugging a crying Octavia Blake. "Nevermind, I think I just got my answer to that." </em></p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, but I'll try to come by when it isn't as expensive to travel", he said - his voice serious and Clarke could hear that he hated this. "I really am sorry." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke walked over and sat down on the other side of Octavia and put her free arm around the brunette. "Don't worry about it, Bell. Take care... and come home some day." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I will", he answered before they both hung up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Octavia", Clarke then turned to her friend who looked up with tearfilled eyes, "I'm sad too... but why did you trash mine and Echo's apartment?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Because I was here when he called", Octavia answered heartbroken. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Echo hugged her tighter as she began sobbing. Her relationship with her brother was one that Clarke had always envied, they took care of each other and loved each other deeply. Clarke didn't have any siblings (unless you count her friends), but she always wanted that when she saw the Blakes loving nature. Clarke took a deep breath, holding in her own tears, as she leaned over Octavia's body in a mournful hug.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We'll see him next year." </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And now here they were... another Christmas without the infamous Bellamy Blake. Clarke sighed as she was sitting on Octavia and Lincoln's couch. The party was full-go, everyone having arrived. Echo with her new girlfriend, Luna, (both girls awesome, but could kick anyone's ass... only kind of scared Clarke when she first met them), Monty had joined Harper with their son, Jordan, who wasn't even a year old (they were the first to have kids in the group), Jasper and Maya had arrived with Monty and Jordan (cute couple, Jasper was kind of a hyper-active child and Maya seemed to love him exactly the way he was), Murphy and Raven had been helping setting up the party (Clarke loved them, but they were both smartasses with just a touch of arrogance... which only made Clarke love them even more), Josephine and Gabriel had been the last to come to the party (Clarke had been roommates with Josie in college and they had hated each other at first, but grown to care for one another immensaly, Gabriel a bit older and working with Josephine's dad, but he was pretty cool), Miller and Jackson were sitting by the kitchen table talking with Harper and Monty about their thoughts on adopting (Nathan Miller had grown up with Clarke and the Blakes, being Bellamy's best friend - along with Murphy, and Jackson worked as a doctor along with Clarke's mom). And then of course, there were Octavia, Lincoln and the twins. Yes, twins. Everyone were equally shocked, especially Octavia who nearly had a panic attack at that information. </p><p>"Ey, Griffin", Murphy plopped down next to her on the couch. "You're bringing down everyone's mood right now. What's going on?" </p><p>"Do you care?" Clarke asked with a raised eyebrow. </p><p>Murphy gasped exasperated and pretended to be offended. Clarke rolled her eyes with a smile, Murphy was always very extra and a fucking clown. </p><p>"How dare you accuss me of not caring?" he questioned loudly. He turned to someone behind Clarke. "Babe, I care about everyone and everything - don't I?" </p><p>Raven snorted as she plopped down on the other side of Clarke. "Sweetie, isn't it a bit early to be so drunk you speak gibberish?" </p><p>Clarke laughed as Murphy shook his head, getting up. "Surrounded by a bunch of bullies." </p><p>As he walked towards the kitchen, where Jasper was loudly telling a story to Octavia, Maya, Lincoln, Echo and Josephine (Gabriel and Luna having a deep conversation right next to all the commotion), Clarke yelled after the idiot: "We love you!"</p><p>He gave the girls the finger as he kept walking, leaving them giggling on the couch. </p><p>"God, he can be such a grouch", Raven mumbled with a fond smile on her face, although it disappeared quickly - leaving her looking at Clarke seriously. "But he's right, though. Something's up, we can all tell." </p><p>Clarke really didn't wanna talk about what was bothering her. She could say that the holidays felt hard now that she and Lexa were broken up, but she didn't miss her that much. She could say it was because seeing all of her friends getting to that point where they become parents and/or get married, but she wasn't sure she wanted that. She definitely didn't want it right now. Was it because of Bellamy? Goddamnit, it probably was - but she could never tell her friends that. All the bets that had gone around in the group about when Bellamy and Clarke would finally get together had made Clarke more careful. Now that she actually did have feelings for him, she would be a whole lot more embarrassed if they started once more. Especially Jasper, he started to "jokingly" call them mom and dad because they were the only responsible ones in the group and also to push them to get together even more... now they were no longer the most responsible though. </p><p>Clarke shook her head out of the thoughts she had and gave Raven a smile. "Don't worry, babe. Just a tough week and I slept like shit tonight." </p><p>Raven raised an eyebrow. "You suuuuuure?" </p><p>Clarke snorted. "Yes, I'm sure, <em>but</em> I do need a smoke."</p><p>She gave the latina next to her a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the apartment, heading downstairs so she could smoke outside - she needed to get a little further from the party, from the questions. When she got to the ground floor, she headed outside and leaned up against a pillar holding up the building. She took her lighter and cigarrettes out of her coat pocket and quickly lit on. She had become the only on in the group, besides Murphy, that smoked now too. She wasn't sure how all this had happened... it wasn't like she felt lost. She was just twenty-six and already had the job of her dreams..., but seeing her friends already having gotten where they wanted, already having grown up so much... it scared her. If it was because she wasn't there herself, or because she didn't want to be there was a question for another day. Her ciggarette was burning out, and she stepped down on it and considered smoking another one... when a familiar voice surprised her. </p><p>"Must be a pretty boring party if you end up down here all alone." </p><p>Clarke turned to her right to see him, Bellamy Blake - his curly dark hair still a mess, dark brown eyes still just as warm and he still had the same wonderfully annoying grin plastered on his face. Clarke lost her breath at the sight of him, and didn't hesitate to run towards him and throw herself in his arms just like he didn't hesitate to catch her and squeeze her tightly. He spinned her around in the hug and Clarke felt her heart stutter the exact same way it did when she was younger, the way only he could make it do. As she held onto him, she felt that he had gotten bigger but not at all in a negative way. He was only thiccer, his strong muscles still there but bigger. His hands on her back felt just as big as before, however. His skin still had the same tan complection... God, she was so glad he was finally home. </p><p>He gently put her down on the ground and she reluctantly let go of him, looking up at him she also noticed he had grown a beard - and she definitely didn't disapprove (is anyone surprised?). He only looked more mature, handsome and definitely still just as hot. His hand ended up by her hair and he said with a smile: "It's short." </p><p>Clarke let out a small laugh, very close to a giggle and looked up at him. "Wow, Bellamy Blake - what an observant man you are." </p><p>He rolled his eyes with a crooked smile, showing off his beautiful teeth. Clarke grazed her own hand over his beard and she felt a smile tugging on her lips when she noticed his breath hitch slightly. </p><p>"You got a beard", she said, quietly so no one but him could ever hear it.</p><p>He smiled down at her, didn't smirk but he gave her a genuine fond smile that made her heart skip a beat. </p><p>"Wow, princess - you can see it? I thought I was hiding it so well."</p><p>Now it was Clarke's time to roll her eyes with a smile. She took her hand away, and then grabbed Bellamy's - dragging him into the apartment building. </p><p>"How long are you back for?" she asked as they walked up the stairs, still not having let go of each other's hands - which gave Clarke a tingling feeling all over.</p><p>He smiled down at his feet before answering. "If I play my cards right... forever." </p><p>Clarke stopped completely just as they got to Octavia's floor. Her heart was pounding through her entire body. </p><p>"Really?" she almost whispered, as if the shock made her lose her voice. "You're gonna stay here in Arkadia?" </p><p>He smiled down at her, making her heart stutter the same way again. How did he always manage to do this to her? </p><p>"Yes, Clarke", she felt goosebumps all over her body when he said her real name like that, with his voice so deep. "I'm staying." </p><p>The way he was looking at her, his eyes on her - those beautiful dark brown eyes, Clarke felt like she could kiss him right there and then... and she almost did, but just then a door was thrown open right by them. Clarke jumped at the sound and turned to see Octavia standing in the doorway to her apartment, with the rest of the group standing behind her - staring at what was going on. </p><p>"O", Bellamy said happily, but at her furious glare he seemed to get uncertain. "I-I'm home." </p><p>She walked towards him slowly, and although Clarke knew she loved her brother she got worried that the brunette was preparing to kill him. When she was just in front of him it looked like Bellamy was about to run away, and just then Octavia pulled him into a hug (which didn't look easy with her big baby bump). Bellamy breathed out a sigh of relief and hugged his sister back while placing a kiss on the top her head. The group still in the apartment were staring at the siblings interacting. It was beautiful... until Bellamy ruined it. </p><p>"God, you're huge." </p><p>Octavia pulled out of the hug and smacked her brother hard in the shoulder. He winced but had a big grin on his face and Clarke could see Octavia's lips twitching as well. </p><p>"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she said, but she suddenly mirrored his grin. "We don't see you for two years, you come back without a word and you call your pregnant sister fat?!"</p><p>Bellamy smiled widely now. "I didn't technically call you fat... I implied it." This time Clarke smacked him and the group in the apartment laughed. "And the other stuff... pretty much, <em>but</em> I'm back for good." </p><p>"Great!" Murphy called behind them and everyone turned to the group. "Then let's continue this party." </p><p>Bellamy chuckled and nearly pushed Octavia and Clarke back into the apartment where everyone went on to hug him (except for Gabriel and Luna as they hadn't ever been very close, but they shook hands with wide smiles). Josephine called out for a toast at 11pm when the party had gone on for a while and Jordan had fallen asleep in one of the bedrooms. Everyone raised their glasses along with Josephine as she stood up on a chair. </p><p>"A toast!" she called out. "A toast for Bellamy Blake being back!" a cheer went through the room and Bellamy smiled down at Clarke in a way that made her afraid he would see her cheeks flush. "<em>And</em> for Octavia and Lincoln and their children that we will all soon corrupt into the same kind of monsters we are!"</p><p>Another cheer, where Murphy was the loudest, went through the room before everyone downed their drinks. Directly after though, Monty called out: "I don't think I want any of you guys babysitting Jordan ever again." </p><p>A laugh went through the room before the party continued. It went on for another hour until Jasper, Maya, Harper and Monty decided that it was time to go - Jasper drunk off his ass and Jordan fast asleep. Shortly after, Josephine and Gabriel went home - Miller and Jackson following shortly after, Miller giving Bellamy one final hug before they left. Echo and Luna stayed for a little while longer, helping with the dishes before Echo gave Clarke, Raven and Octavia each a peck on the cheek before leaving. </p><p>"Bye, loves and welcome back, Bell", she said before closing the door behind her. </p><p>"And then there were six", Murphy said before looking down at Octavia where she was lying in-between Lincoln's legs on the couch. "Sorry, eight." </p><p>"I swear to God", she mumbled and the group laughed. </p><p>Clarke tried not to think about how the remaining group was seated. Octavia and Lincoln on the couch, Raven in Murphy's lap in one of the armchairs... and Bellamy in the other with Clarke placed on the floor between his legs. She wondered if the others noticed the way they had all seated in a way that had only felt natural when it happened. Clarke was used to hugging Bellamy, she was even used to cuddling with him before he left and this she hadn't even thought about it before sitting down between his legs, and he hadn't even hesitated before gently pulling his hands across her back - probably for relaxing but it only made her more anxious and covered her entire body with goosebumps. She felt like a teenager again, not because she almost felt childish with a stupid "crush" (we all know it was a lot more than that) - but because he made her feel this exact way back then as well! Nothing had changed and based off of Octavia and Raven's looks, their smugness over it hadn't changed either. After Bellamy had begun asking Lincoln about his work with the nursery and Murphy had joined the conversation, with dumb comments like 'these kids are gonna need pictures of their uncle John, should we have a photo-shoot one day?', Raven and Octavia began motioning at Clarke (just like they were kids. Why had she been stressed about becoming an adult now again?). Clarke motioned back aggressively, not as subtly as the other two so she got the boys attention. </p><p>"Uh, Griffin", Murphy said. "What's going on? Are you having a seizure?" </p><p>"Yeah, Clarke", Raven piped up with a smug facial expression (Octavia mirroring the same expression), "what <em>is</em> going on?" </p><p>Clarke felt at a loss for words and she couldn't help the fit of giggles that attacked her. The whole situation was just all too familar and it had all just happened because Bellamy just came back home. She couldn't believe she had actually missed being a teenager so much, and all she needed was just her childhood/teenage/adult crush back home... she knew it was disgustingly cliché but it was as if he completed her, and that was terrifying. The girls got the giggles too, and just like that... all three of them were kids again. Once they stopped, Lincoln was smiling fondly at Octavia - massaging her head lovingly. Murphy gave Raven a look and snorted before giving a chaste kiss and whispering something in her ear that made her smile widely. Clarke smiled at her friends and looked up at Bellamy... to see that he was smiling down at her, fondly. (Almost like the other boys looked at the women they loved... no, Clarke. Give it up.) She smiled back up at him before leaning against one of his legs and giving his ankles a loving squeeze. Even if he didn't feel exactly like she did, he was exactly what she needed to be happy. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>December 23rd, 2016</strong>
</p><p>"I can't believe you forgot to buy gifts for the twins!" Bellamy uttered as Clarke was dragging him through the mall. "You're their godmother!"</p><p>"I know, I know, I know", she answered, pulling him into one of the kid's stores. "I was just so caught up in work, and let me remind you that last year they didn't exist!" </p><p>Bellamy snorted. "Do you use the same 'naughty and nice'-list every year then?" </p><p>Clarke smiled as she picked up one of the stuffed animals. "Yup." </p><p>"Let me guess", Bellamy said nonchalantly, ignoring the pride he felt over making her smile. "Murphy's the only one on 'naughty'." </p><p>Clarke let out a laugh that brightened her entire face, and Bellamy felt his heart pound so hard - he had to pick up a toy to distract himself. As Clarke continued to rummage through the shelfs, a kid ran into the store and right into Bellamy's leg. </p><p>"Woah, hey there", he uttered surprised. The kid looked up at him, a small little brunette with wide blue eyes and a giant smile on her face. Bellamy smiled back and crouched down so he was at her eye-level. "What's your name?" </p><p>"Charlotte", she answered confidently. "And I'm five years old." </p><p>"Wow, that's big. I'm Bellamy", he responded with a big smile on his face. Despite having decided to work as a professor, Bellamy loved kids and definitely prefered them over adults... almost all adults. "Where's your mommy or daddy?" </p><p>He got his answer almost directly after when a woman came running. "Charlie! I have told you to not just run away like that!"</p><p>Charlotte seemed as if she tried to pretend to be innocent based of the look on her face. "Mom, this is Bellamy - he's my new friend." </p><p>"Yeah, okay", the woman said and pulled the young girl towards her before looking up at Bellamy. "I'm truly sorry... she doesn't really have any boundaries." </p><p>"It's fine", Bellamy answered with a smile as he got to his feet again. "She's very sweet." </p><p>The woman smiled back and pulled some hair behind her ear. "I'm Gina." </p><p>Bellamy was just about to greet her properly when - "Bell, do you think Rory or Jake would like the green elephant more?" </p><p>He smiled and turned to look at the blonde who was now holding ten different stuffed animals at a time and immediately felt the pounding of his heart. </p><p>"Neither, we're not getting them unrealistic items, they'll get bullied in school because of their demented ideas of animals." </p><p>He hadn't even noticed saying 'we' until it was out, but Clarke didn't even seem to react. Gina did though, she quickly took Charlotte's hand and said goodbye before leaving. A few years ago, Bellamy might have cared because she was cute, but he had also learned in the past few years that even if he wasn't together with Clarke he only wanted her. He had tried to date when he was across the country, but all it took was a phone call with the princess and he knew he still wasn't over her. </p><p>"Jesus Christ", she said with a laugh as she put the green elephant back on the shelf. Bellamy walked up to her and helped her place everything back on the shelf. "I'm screwed... Octavia is gonna kill me." </p><p>Bellamy smiled to himself and grabbed a stuffed animal in the shape of a golden retriever along with one in the shape of a fluffy black dog. He held them up for Clarke with a smile, she looked unimpressed. </p><p>"Are you kidding?" </p><p>Slightly offended, Bellamy immediately jumped to his own defense. "What? These are a whole lot cuter than fucking elephants."</p><p>A man went by with his daughter just as Bellamy said 'fucking' and earned a stern glare, which made Clarke giggle. After the dad had walked out of the store with his daughter, Clarke went back to answering Bellamy. </p><p>"Don't you think... they look a little familiar?"  </p><p>Bellamy could not remember ever feeling so confused. Familiar? Did he know any specific dogs? Clarke could obviously read his face and just smiled. </p><p>"Fine, they're great." </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>10 months earlier</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>"What did they look like?" Clarke asked Bellamy as he drove her to the hospital. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Like... they were truly disgusting but at the same time the cutest things I had ever seen", he answered, still drying the tears that kept coming whenever he thought about their birth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavia had forced both of them to be in there, but Clarke had been stuck at her mom's and had to get picked up by Bellamy... too late though. She laughed at Bellamy's answer as she began pulling at her dress. Bellamy couldn't help but let his eyes land on her legs. After coming back he had realized that she had gotten curvier, in the best possible way. She was always hard not to look at and now with her short hair she looked more mature (although that had never been a problem with her. Most of their discussion growing up came from her being the only one stubborn and mature enough to challenge him). When she had come running out of her mother's house, Bellamy had been stunned to see that she was in a tight black dress and looked absolutely fantastic. He kept having to force himself to stare at the road because he was afraid if he let himself admire her beauty, he wouldn't be able to stop. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You okay there?" he asked after clearing his throat and looking back at the road. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Urgh, yeah", she answered as she lifted herself off her seat to drag the dress downwards. (Don't look!) "Mom just needed me to be welldressed because it was some special event with her fancy friends, and holy fuck - I miss my sweatpants, or jeans, or basically anything but this dress. Pretty sure I've accidentally bared-all for a lot of strangers." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy laughed, despite feeling his throat go a little dry. He knew she was hot, he had known that since he came home from college when he was twenty-two and she was seventeen (although then it hadn't exactly been really appropriate to admit that to himself). He had learned over the years to admire her beauty from a far and it was easy to just give her subtle glances normally..., but whenever he dressed up he felt like a pervert. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of her legs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bellamy", she woke him up from his daze and he looked at her in confusion, she had a smirk on her face but he could see a small blush on her cheeks. "Are you checking me out?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>His throat went dry again and his eyes snapped back to the road as he felt his own cheeks flush. An excuse, any excuse... but he knew he was caught.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You, um... you just look very nice, is all." He dared a glance over at her and felt his heart pound up to his ears when he noticed her normally pale cheeks flushing a dark shade of pink. She smiled at him and it was just all too much, too many feelings, too many unrequited feelings. "It happens whenever any of my friends dress up. If Murphy and Miller tried it for once I would be all over them." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(What the fuck, man? Seriously...)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh", Clarke said before letting out a chuckle, although he couldn't help but think that maybe that was to cover up some disappointment. "So, if Murphy came to the bar in this dress", she was smirking now again, but no longer with the same blush on her cheeks, "you would be all over him?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not-", Bellamy began even though he knew she was just doing this to get a rile out of him. He gave her a look and she looked all too smug, making him sigh - with a wry smile of his own. "Hardy-har." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once they had pulled in at the hospital, Bellamy and Clarke hurried towards the room where Octavia, Lincoln and the two unnamed twins were. When they entered, Octavia was surprisingly enough awake, so was Lincoln - the babies, on the other hand, were completely out. When Octavia saw Clarke she smiled widely. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Wow, you didn't have to get dressed like that all for me, babe." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke laughed and did a little spin, making Bellamy force himself to look at the very interesting plain wall.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I thought I had to make a good first impression. And on that note", Clarke walked up to the plastic "cribs" and looked down with awe in her eyes. Bellamy couldn't help himself but walk up next to her, not just because he wanted to be close to the woman he knew he loved, but because he couldn't seem to stop loving the sight of his niece and nephew. Clarke continued. "Any names?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes", Lincoln spoke up with a proud look on his face whenever he looked at his kids. "Octavia and I actually decided a while back, but we wanted to surprise you two." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Us?" Bellamy questioned, tearing his eyes away from the kids. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavia smiled widely, and her eyes prickled slightly with tears. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"The boy... Jake", she looked up at Clarke who nearly gasped, her own eyes filling with tears. "And the girl, Rory... like Aurora." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke's late father and the Blakes' late mother, only slightly depressing to name the kids after dead people and very much the most heartwarming thing Bellamy had ever heard. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"No, they don't!" Bellamy said as he inspected the stuffed animals while Clarke, Raven and Echo were laughing their asses off on the couch. </p><p>Clarke had mentioned in the car when they left the mall that <em>maybe</em> the stuffed animals kind of reminded her of them, her blonde and his scruffy black hair (yes, those were her words). Bellamy had laughed and set that thought aside. And everything seemed fine..., but then when they showed Raven, Murphy and Echo - the first thing Murphy had said was: "Why did you buy toys that look like yourselves?" </p><p>Clarke's reaction had been to nearly scream with laughter before yelling: "I told you!"</p><p>And now here they were, Bellamy still couldn't see it. Clarke sat down on the floor next to him after collecting herself, putting a hand on his back. </p><p>"The kids will still love them, and it's sweet that you didn't even realize." </p><p>"Mhm", he looked over at her (she was so close) with a smirk. "And how come you didn't mention it when we were in the store then?" </p><p>"Because I thought you were being cute", she said and directly after saying it a blush crept up on her cheek. "I mean, not you", (no, of course not - because that would have to mean she thought he was cute), "but just the whole... thing." She looked down at the floor with a sigh before getting off the floor with a plastered-on smile on her face, the blush still there. "I'm gonna get the gift wrapping-paper." </p><p>She turned to walk away and Bellamy could hear Echo whisper to her 'smooth', which Clarke responded with whispering back 'shut up'. Bellamy turned to Murphy and Raven, who had now seated themselves almost on top of one another on the couch. Raven winked at him and Murphy grinned, making Bellamy roll his eyes. Raven leaned forward and whispered to him: "You were what she thought was cute, dummy. Can you two please just stop being so fucking stubborn?" </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>December 24th, 2017</strong>
</p><p>"This is so cute", Octavia said with a smirk. </p><p>Clarke had spread out over Octavia and Lincoln's living room (in their new house) with giftwrapping-papper and her secret santa present for Bellamy. Ever since she got Bellamy (which she hadn't been able to keep a secret from the girls because of the stress she felt from it) Octavia had been obnoxious. Raven had told Murphy and so they had been pretty annoying too, Echo was just slightly annoying but not even half as bad as the other three. Clarke had been stressing about what to give to her best friend, whom she was also completely in love with, all month leading up to this day. She had finally decided on a trip for two to Rom (yes, she went a little overboard and she hadn't even planned on who he was gonna take with him. It wasn't like he would ever bring her... right?). </p><p>"It's just", Octavia began again after only being quiet for about a minute, "soooo cute." </p><p>"You better be talking about your kids or I'm gonna punch you", Clarke said without looking up. </p><p>Echo, who was sitting on the floor with Rory on her lap and building blocks with Jake, snorted. Despite not having any kids of her own and the fact that her childhood had been very tough, Echo was still one of the best with everyone's kids. Raven, who was sitting on the couch next to Octavia with her giant pregnant belly, had already told the girl that she would be the godmother of her and Murphy's kid. </p><p>"I'm just saying", Octavia began <em>once more</em> and Clarke rolled her eyes, "it's pretty fucking obvious you're both in love with one another, it has been since you and I were seventeen... so why don't you just fuck, marry and give birth to a bunch of little babies? It's what you both want." </p><p>Clarke groaned and nearly threw her head against the table next to her. "We don't know that he wants that with me." </p><p>"Yes, we do", O answered. </p><p>"Yeah, that's bullshit!" Josephine said from where she was in the kitchen.</p><p>"Yeah, babe", Harper, who had been nearly sleeping on the floor next to the kids playing together, jumped in, "we do." </p><p>"Yeah", Raven and Echo said in unison. </p><p>Maya got off the couch and sat down next to Clarke, putting a hand on her shoulder. "We do." </p><p>Clarke groaned once more before slumping her head down on the floor with a loud <em>'Donk!'</em> that made Octavia snort loudly. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> <strong>11 years earlier</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm just saying", Bellamy said with a smirk as he was, once again, arguing with none other than Clarke, "it doesn't matter what I wear. I always look great, princess." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Urgh", Clarke rolled her eyes, not even any sign of a smile - she truly could not stand this arrogant asshole and she knew she never would. "I never disagreed about that, and I have no idea what that has to do with anything!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavia rolled her eyes and sat down with a huff in between Murphy and Miller on the couch, as the two guys always loved to watch these two dorks fighting - something Clarke found embarrassing, but always ignored in the heat of the moment. She couldn't let the older Blake win, it was like she had some pathalogical need to prove that she wasn't just a little princess. However, her recent statement had just increased the smug look on Bellamy's face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So, what you're saying is", he took a step closer, toppling over her in that patronizing way he always used his superior height against her, "you don't disagree that I look good in everything?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke had to fight the urge to stomp her foot down (especially on his foot), she could be mature... A bald-faced lie, but she was gonna pretend like she could even though he brough out the worst in her. "I never said that, I just-" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Murphy cut her off. "Actually, that's exactly what you said." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The blonde glared in his direction where he was sitting with that stupid shit-eating grin he always had. She pointed her finger at him and said thrrough gritted teeth: "Stay out of this, or I'll drown you in the toilet." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Octavia and Miller snickered as Murphy put his hand behind his head for support as he leaned back on the couch, the smirk never faltering. Clarke rolled her eyes again and turned her gaze back to Bellamy, his eyes never leaving her and the smug grin only increasing. She narrowed her eyes as an idea came to mind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fine", she said and mirrored his smug expression. "Challenge accepted." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That made him stop in his tracks and he looked utterly confused, to Clarke's delight. "Huh?" he let out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?" the trio on the couch said in unison. </em>
</p><p><em>Clarke flashed them a grin, happy to be back on top, before turning back to the twenty-two year old standing before her. "I accept your challenge, I </em>don't<em> believe you look good no matter what you wear." </em></p><p>
  <em>He raised an eyebrow, but the amused glint in his eyes had re-appeared. "Oh, yeah? And how are you gonna prove this claim?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke chuckled and leaned forward so that their noses nearly brushed, this was gonna be fun. ("You couldn't stab this tension with a machete", Murphy murmered when the arguing pair couldn't hear.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's not the expression", Miller snickered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Murphy didn't even look in his friend's direction. "Fuck off.")</em>
</p><p>
  <em>---</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm just saying", Octavia began and Clarke had to keep from laughing at how much alike the Blakes could be, "I have never seen you care this much about a Christmas present." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke looked at the atrocious pair of pants that she was holding, wondering if they were ugly enough to bring down Bellamy Blake's moviestar-goodlooks... as the girls at school what call it! Not that Clarke herself thought so. Definitely not! </em>
</p><p><em>"I'm trying to win a bet, O", she said for the hundredth time. "Also, Christmas is in two days so - yeah, I'm a bit more stressed than I usually am when I shop for gifts almost a month ahead." </em> <em>Octavia stuck her tongue out in her lame retaliation which always made the blonde laugh. "Dork." </em></p><p>
  <em>"Princess", she responded with a wink. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke shoved her lightly and they both giggled at their folishness. Once Clarke had picked out a few things and paid for it, they left the store to go find Jasper and Monty somewhere in the busy mall. They talked for a while - mostly just Octavia telling Clarke about how Atom wouldn't stop texting her - until they found the two idiots sitting at a booth in the cafeteria. Jasper was staring at some girls at a table further away while Monty greeted his friends with a beaming smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just as Octavia was going to sit down next to him, a kid nearly ran into her. There was a short 'sorry' before the kid kept running and was quickly followed by a woman, probably the child's mother. O groaned as the girls sat down. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm never having kids." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke snorted and was just about to make a snarky remark when two beautiful girls approached them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, dorks", Raven said as Harper flopped down on the opposite side of the table. "How come you wanted to meet up?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke smiled, she had been planning the entire Christmas holiday and was very excited to share her ideas with her friends. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Right, so", she had to keep herself from bounce on the spot (and succeeded with the help of Octavia's firm yet loving hand on her thigh), "on Christmas Day we all meet up at the Blake residence, vote if I won the bet with Bellamy, and then we'll watch Christmas-movies until we all pass out in the living room." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Aren't you spending Christmas with your mom?" Harper asked concerned. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Always like her to be so worried about her friends. Clarke gave her sweet smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Kane, her boyfriend, invited us both on a trip but I told mom to go and have fun. So", she turned to Octavia and pinched her cheek as if she were a little kid, "I'll just have to spend it with my baby girl." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Urgh", Octavia smacked her arm away with grimace (although everyone could see the smile wanting to break free). "Raven's right, you're such a dork." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>---</em>
</p><p><em>Clarke knocked on his door frantically, making sure she was as obnoxious as possible. When he finally opened his bedroom door, Bellamy was only in a pair of sweatpants... no shirt. Clarke, however, would not let herself get distracted (she'd seen his </em>amazing<em> body about a million times before). His curly hair was messier than usual and the grumpiness was heightened by the tired brown eyes. He didn't seem mad, just annoyed. It was </em>not<em> adorable!</em></p><p>
  <em>"Princess", he greeted with a tired hoarse voice. "I would say merry christmas, but I'm sure you won't let it be very merry." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke rolled her eyes, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. She was giddy - the challenge was just a small part of that. She loved Christmas! And therefore she didn't even respond to his sloppy remark, just handing him the wrapped clothes she'd hidden behind her back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Merry Christmas, jackass", she said with a wide smile. "I hope you hate it." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And then without another word, she walked back to the living room (desperately trying not to skip). The christmas tree was beautiful, Clarke and Octavia had decorated it a few nights ago whilst Bellamy was making dinner and yelling at Octavia to lower the christmas music... so she had only increased the volume. It was a small, cozy house that Bellamy had inherited after their mother passed away. Clarke was almost the only one in the group that still had at least one parent (although the others in the group called Bellamy a motherhen... and once Raven called him daddy just to see how everyone would react. Octavia was not a fan). Murphy was an orphan, Raven - orphan, Octavia - orphan, Jasper - orphan, Harper - orphan, Monty - orphan and, of course, Bellamy. Miller still had his dad, but it wasn't enough to stop Murphy from calling them all 'The Orphan Club' which really hadn't been popular at first..., buuuuuuut when he told Clarke she was an honourary member after her dad died it was the first time she'd managed to smile after the accident. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Once everyone had arrived, and Raven had stopped complaining to Clarke about 'that asshole Murphy' being there, the group sat down on the couch and Octavia shouted: "Come on, brother! If Murphy doesn't see you soon, he'll get real sad!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck off, little Blake", Murphy murmured. </em>
</p><p><em>The group snickered before the person they had all been waiting for finally arrived into the room. A second went by before the entire room burst out laughing. Bellamy Blake, the hunky history nerd that every girl in Clarke and Octavia's grade had crushed on whenever they came over to the house, was now wearing a pair of bright rainbow colored pants, the ugliest christmas sweater any of them had ever seen (red with a moose on it, the eyes were buttons that you glued on paintings when you were five, there was a bell that rung every time he took a step, and the moose was smiling with big human teeth), and a pair of neon-pink socks with neon-green hearts on them. He would have looked grumpy if it hadn't been for the pink flush that had started covering his ears and cheeks. Clarke </em>did not<em> think it was cute!</em></p><p>
  <em>"Strike a pose!" Jasper shouted over the roars of laughter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm not doing that", Bellamy answered swiftly. "Can we just vote already so I can get out of this?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No!" Clarke exclaimed. "You have to wear it all day, that was part of the agreement." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No, it wasn't", Bellamy began, but luckily Murphy, Octavia, and Miller all jumped in. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, it was", they all almost yelled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>A bald-faced lie, yes - but this! The hot guy looking like an idiot, oh god, this needed to last as long as possible. Murphy jumped up and stood next to the tanner, more muscular man. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So", he said and struck a dumb pose, "am I hotter than him yet?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The group laughed again and Bellamy shoved the other guy away, but with an uncontained grin on his face. He turned back to the group, as Murphy went over to Clarke and whispered in her ear: "I like you a whole lot more than I ever thought I would, princess." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clarke reciprocated the smirk he had on his face and forced him to sit down next to her. "Vote for me, and I'll feel the same way." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ah, cheating", Murphy grinned and turned to the rest of the group. "Griffin's my new best friend." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So she won, obviously, and the group put on the movies they were gonna watch. Jasper, Monty, Harper, Miller and Murphy were on the floor - lying on mattrasses Octavia had pulled out of every bed in the house, ignoring Bellamy's protests. Clarke, Octavia, and Raven had taken the couch and were all sprawled out across it whilst Bellamy was sitting in his armchair. At about 9pm, almost everyone was falling asleep. That was when Bellamy stood up and signaled to Clarke to follow him into the kitchen. Although she felt slightly confused, she did as she was asked. When they got out to the small, but cozy kitchen/dining... whatever, Bellamy stopped in front of Clarke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Congratiulations on winning, princess." </em>
</p><p><em>Clarke felt an annoying feeling in her body. Disappointment... had he only brought her out here to tease her? Why else would he? She braced herself emotionally, straightened up and shot out her chin at him.</em> <em>"Thank you." </em></p><p>
  <em>Then something happened, something very unexpected that threw Clarke off her game. Bellamy smiled, genuinely and... he looked sheepish. Clarke had to keep her eyes from widening, she'd never seen him look so... cute. He scratched the back of his neck, which made the bell on his shirt jingle slightly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So, um", he started pulling something out of his pocket and Clarke nearly thought it was a gun, that would be more expected than the small box in nice gift wrapping paper, "since you got me a gift, I got you one too." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is it a bomb?" she blurted out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Is it- what?" he looked confused and raised an eyebrow. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Nothing, nothing, um...", Clarke took the gift hesitantly. What was going on? "But this wasn't a... I don't get it." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy smiled and the blonde hated the slight flush that spread across her entire body from it, forcing her to look down at the gift again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Just open it, you dork", he said and Clarke couldn't help but smile at the fondness in his voice. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She unwrapped it and was surprised to see that the box inside almost looked like one they put jewelry in. She looked up with wide eyes. "Bellamy-"</em>
</p><p><em>"Open it", he told her in a low voice which made her body tingle. </em> <em>She opened the box and looked inside... a key. Clarke took it out of the box and examined it. "It's for the house." </em></p><p>
  <em>She looked up at him with wide eyes again, a smile tugging at her lips. "You like having me around after all?" </em>
</p><p><em>He chuckled in his deep voice and Clarke realized with annoyance that it did in fact not matter what he weared. She should not have won that bet (not that she would </em>ever<em> admit that). The smile was now completely visible on her face and she really hoped he wouldn't notice how pink her cheeks were getting. </em></p><p>
  <em>"Well, this beats having to open the door when you knock frantically in the middle of the night because of a fight with your mom. Now you can just-", Clarke cut him off with a hug. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He didn't seem to react at first, this wasn't something they normally did. Ever. In Clarke's mind, this had been too intimate and she was afraid maybe Bellamy still thought it was. That is, until he hugged her back. She could feel every muscle in his arms, chest and even some from his back under the hand that wasn't holding the gift. She could hold onto him for a lot longer than they did, but the bell pressed into her stomach. When she let go, she groaned from the pain. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well", Bellamy began with a smirk, "technically your own fault." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She flicked the bell so it jingled, which made the attractive man in front of her groan, and answered with a smirk of her own: "Worth it." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bellamy 'Jackass' Blake!" Raven shouted from the living room. "I can hear you all the time!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Blame the princess!" Bellamy shouted back, and the two shared a grin - although Clarke still shoved him lightly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Don't complain, Reyes", they could hear Murphy say. "He's like our own kitten." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>That earned him a snicker from the latina and Clarke was surprised when Bellamy's breath was just by her ear. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I bet you, they'll sleep together within a year." </em>
</p><p><em>Clarke laughed, no... urgh, she giggled - giggled like a little girl! She regained her composure and smirked up at him - ignoring how close he was. "You're on - it'll take </em>at least<em> two years. Rae won't admit even liking him as a friend for long time." </em></p><p>
  <em>Bellamy opened his mouth to answer just when Jasper (who'd been asleep last they saw, but must have woken up when Raven had yelled) shouted: "Come on, Kitty! We wanna watch the next movie!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The group in the living room laughed and Bellamy glared at Clarke, but there was no heat in his eyes. Clarke smiled widely, and she noticed the corners of Bellamy's lips quirking upwards as well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Come on, Kitty", she teased. "It will only last at most a week." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>(It lasted nearly two months, but she was at least right on Raven and Murphy - it took them nearly four fucking years to admit their feelings.)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Where are my godparents?!" Octavia shouted from the kitchen. </p><p>Bellamy rolled his eyes at Clarke in a way that made butterflies aggressively fly through her stomach. She grinned up at him as she shouted back: "Technically, we're not <em>your</em> godparents!"</p><p>Octavia entered the living room where they were sitting with Murphy, Raven, Echo, and Luna. Rory was also on Clarke's lap, and Bellamy was sitting next to them on the couch whilst Murphy was talking to Raven's stomach - completely ignoring every smack he got in his head, and she was actually smiling at his dorkiness. </p><p>"There you guys are", O said as she walked over to them. "I need you two to come with me now." </p><p>"Why?" Bellamy asked as Clarke simply got up, placing Rory on her hip. </p><p>"You're her brother, you should know by now that you never question Octavia when she wants you to come with her." The two women started walking out of the room and with a sigh, Bellamy followed. "That's how we ended up at Coachella when we were only sixteen." </p><p>"Wait, what?!" Bellamy uttered as Octavia pushed them into the study, grabbing Rory out of Clarke's embrace. </p><p>"Don't worry about it", Octavia said smugly before closing the door in their faces... and then locking it. </p><p>"Wh-", Clarke's face fell and she exchanged a confused look with Bellamy. "O?" </p><p>"Whoops, the door accidentally locked - guess you guys have to stay in there while we fix it", Jasper said from the other side and Clarke could see Bellamy's muscles flex under his shirt. </p><p>Octavia and Jasper had been the worst when it came to trying to get Clarke and Bellamy to get together... and apparently they hadn't grown up yet. Bellamy knocked aggressively on the door as Clarke turned around with a sigh and looked around at the study... her present for Bellamy was on the desk along with another gift. </p><p>"Shit", Clarke whispered to herself just as Bellamy stopped banging on the door. </p><p>"What?" he said as he came up next to her. </p><p>She didn't have to answer though because just as Bellamy saw what was probably his present for her, he groaned loudly and dragged his hand across his newly shaven chin. </p><p>"I'm guessing... your my secret santa", Clarke said with a shy smile as she walked over to the desk and gently felt the wrapping paper of the gift for her. </p><p>"Yeah", Bellamy walked up next to her. "And you're mine." </p><p>"How'd she do it?" Clarke questioned. "We had to pick a name in a hat, how the hell did she manage to do it?" </p><p>"She probably just saw an opportunity <em>after</em> we got each other and took it", Bellamy chuckled as he leaned up against the desk. </p><p>Clarke raised an eyebrow as she heaved herself up next to him on the desk. "Does that sound like your sister to you?" </p><p>Bellamy smiled and looked over at the blonde with that fond look she was the only one who ever got. With a shaky breath, Clarke took the gift she'd bought him and handed it over. "Merry Christmas, Bell." </p><p>He gave her a beautiful, <em>beautiful</em> smile as he accepted it. With gentle fingers he opened the gift wrapped envelope and pulled out the tickets. His eyes widened in surprise and with his mouth slightly agape he looked up at Clarke. She tried not to squirm under his gaze. </p><p>"Clarke, I... I don't know what to say." </p><p>"You don't have to say anything, it was just-", he cut her off when his lips landed on hers. </p><p>It was a gentle kiss, his free hand cupping her face and his nose accidentally bumping against her own. It only took a second for Clarke to react, although she had been caught off-guard, she had been waiting for this moment for years - she'd been prepared and just waiting for it all this time. Both her hands wrapped around his neck and his lips pressed harder against hers. After a minute or so, they leaned back slightly and looked into each others eyes. Clarke opened her mouth to say something when Bellamy blurted out: "I love you... so so much." </p><p>Clarke's heart swelled and she couldn't help the dorky grin that spread across her entire face and Bellamy mirrored her expression. "I love you too... so so much." </p><p>"Merry Christmas, fuckers!" Murphy yelled outside. "They admitted their feelings!"</p><p>"There are children here!" Raven yelled back. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>December 24th, 2018</strong>
</p><p>"Merry Christmas!" he said loudly to wake her up. "Wakey-wakey!"</p><p>"You're going to hell", Clarke grumbled as she threw a pillow at him. He caught it easily and smiled widely at her, she did not smile back. "What time is it?" </p><p>"Eight-thirty", Bellamy answered as he dragged her out of bed despite knowing she was gonna kill him. </p><p>"What?! Why? Why are you doing this to me?!"</p><p>He couldn't help but enjoy this, he loved Clarke in the morning - she was even grumpier than him (although no one in the group would believe him... except for Echo since the two girls had lived together). Clarke and Bellamy had moved in with each other after only about two months of dating, and to the surprise of no one - it was going great. Today was a special day... their one year anniversary and Bellamy had decided what his gift for Clarke was gonna be three whole months ahead of the day in question. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>3 months earlier</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>"You could-", Murphy began but Bellamy slapped his hand over his friend's mouth before he could finish. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bellamy had asked all the guys to come over and help him decide what to fix for his and Clarke's first real anniversary... and after Murphy had already suggested anal beads (despite having his own kid, Luke, there - as well as Lincoln with Rory and Jake, and Monty with Jordan) Bellamy didn't wanna hear shit from him no more. None of the others were very helpful either though - Lincoln kept dozing off (apparently, the twins had been cranky all night), Monty and Jasper were playing with all the kids on the floor, and Gabriel kept asking Murphy questions about how to handle a pregnant wife (to which, he gave terrible advice to him as well). Miller and Jackson gave some good ideas but nothing felt like... Clarke. Gabriel smacked Lincoln on the shoulder so the large man sat up with a jerk, looking around with a dazed expression on his face. </em>
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  <em>"Sorry, dude", Gabriel apologised with an amused smile on his face, "but Blake's gonna have a mental breakdown if the only person that gives him advice is Murphy."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lincoln sighed and dragged a hand across his face in exhaustion before looking at Bellamy as if it were obvious... and maybe it was for the others, but Bellamy could be very oblivious to these things. He'd convinced himself that Clarke didn't love him the same way he loved her for over ten years... yeah, he could be an idiot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Honestly, Bellamy", Lincoln groaned. "You've said for years that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, there's a reason why Murphy bullies you for the whole 'picket-white fence' thing-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-I was drunk when I said that!" Bellamy cut in, pointing aggressively at a smug Murphy as if the decade long discussion was back on.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"-just do what you've wanted to do for years now", Lincoln finished calmly. "Ask her to marry you." </em>
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  <em>A beat passed and Bellamy could feel his heart thumping in his ears the same way it did when he first kissed Clarke, the first time they slept together, when she asked him to move in with him, and every morning he woke up next to her. She was the only person that could make him into this mess and he wouldn't want to have it any other way. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Lincoln", he began as a smile crept it's way onto his face, "I'm so glad my sister's married to you." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, that's a first", Murphy mumbled.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Clarke groaned loudly for what felt like the hundredth time and Bellamy rolled his eyes with a fond smile on his face before giving her a quick peck on the lips. After she'd groaned for the fifth time after Echo and Luna had picked them up, Bellamy told her if she kept doing that he'd have to shut her up... which backfired quickly. Now she groaned every ten minutes before turning to him with a grin on her face. </p><p>"Jesus Christ!" Echo yelled from where she was driving. "Don't make me tell Octavia how disgusting you two are." </p><p>"Babe", Luna said in a calm loving tone, "they're cute." </p><p>"Thank you, Luna!" Clarke said and leaned forward to press a kiss to the curly haired girl's cheek before sticking her tongue out at Echo. "We are adorable." </p><p>Echo stuck her tongue out as well in retaliation, but she was smiling widely. Clarke leaned back again and tucked herself into Bellamy's side... he loved the closeness they could have now although he wasn't sure the extra beat his heart made whenever she did anything like it would ever stop, not that he wanted it to. </p><p>---</p><p>"You got it?" Bellamy nearly hissed at Miller in the back of the lodge Octavia had forced them all to rent over the holidays.</p><p>Miller snorted and handed over the ring box to the taller man. "Stop acting like a drug addict, you're gonna give it away." </p><p>Bellamy snatched the black velvet box out of his friend'd hand with a grunt even though he knew Miller was right. He was basically nervously twitching at this point, so afraid he would mess it up. Octavia had slapped him on the back of the head when he tried to express his concerns, telling him he had nothing to worry about and he knew that... deep down. Clarke's mother, Abby, and stepfather, Marcus Kane, were both very supportive of the relationship - when they had told Abby that they were dating she had first seemed frustrated and made Bellamy extremely nervous. Turns out she'd lost the bet to Octavia since Abby had thought it would take at least another year for them to come to their senses. Bellamy and Clarke had both laughed in a surprised relief, the latter also letting her mother know that Octavia had technically locked them in a room together. That had set the older woman off (if Clarke had gotten her competitive side from anyone, it was her mother) and she'd called Octavia - starting the conversation with: "Young lady! Locking them in room together to force them into realizing their feelings is cheating! No, I'm not sore loser." </p><p>Marcus had turned to the couple that was laughing their asses off in the kitchen where they were still sitting. He'd have his signature kind smile almost plastered onto his face as he'd told them he was happy for them... so Bellamy wasn't worried per se. He knew Clarke loved him and there had been multiple conversations between the two about the future where she'd just told him - "I want everything or anything... with you. That stupid clichéd american dream, or the Brangelina love story" (she'd explained later that she didn't mean getting divorced, but traveling around the world and adopting a bunch of little babies), "or even the Bonnie and Clyde one. We could rob banks and then have sex on the money." She'd grinned when Bellamy laughed before she'd taken his face in her small fair hands. "As long as it's with you... it's perfect." </p><p>So why was he nervous now? Well, he wanted it to be perfect because Clarke Griffin deserved nothing less..., <em>but</em> he was also an idiot. Every time she so much as got close to him now that he had the ring in his pocket, he panicked. At one point he was basically shaking and had told her Octavia needed help with changing Jake's diaper - to which she had responded with a quirk of her eyebrow and as he hurried off she'd shouted  after him: "Since when has she ever needed help with taking care of her own kids?" </p><p>"Jesus Christ", Murphy laughed as he came up to Bellamy. "You're so much worse than I thought possible."</p><p>"Fuck off, dude", Bellamy grumbled defensively. "I just... I need-"</p><p>"-everything to be perfect - yeah, I know." Murphy rolled his eyes before clasping the taller man's shoulder. "I get it..., but you guys have already waited longer than any of us. For fuck's sake, by the time you guys started falling in love with each other, Raven still hated my guts... and now we have a kid." Bellamy looked up at his friend with a nervous glance and Murphy sighed. "I'm not saying you guys should stress it out, but you both want that future and honestly, I'm pretty sure you could be at a McDonald's and burp out the proposal and she would still say yes. Excitedly." </p><p>A wave of relief washed over the older Blake sibling and a smile crept its way onto his face. "Huh... maybe you're not such an asshole after all." </p><p>That was a fact Bellamy had known since the two men had been nineteen and Aurora Blake had passed away. Murphy had been the first to console him, driving him back from college to their hometown to make sure he got there safe, and then staying for the funeral - even stopping Bellamy from drinking too much to forget, telling him it wasn't the gonna help and that he needed to be there for Octavia. So yeah, Bellamy knew long before that Murphy wasn't really an asshole... that way at least - but to see the look on his face when Bellamy said so was just priceless. His blue eyes widened and he gasped. </p><p>"You take that back, Blake." </p><p>Bellamy, full-on smiling by now, was just about to respond when a voice came behind them. "Guys?" </p><p>They whipped around and at the sight of Clarke in a Santa-hat, Bellamy's heart went into over-drive. He wanted to marry her, he wanted to have a bunch of babies with her, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. A dorky grin made its way onto his entire face. </p><p>"Clarke!" Murphy exclaimed. "Bellamy just said I'm not that big of an asshole." </p><p>A tiny smile, that looked almost forced, went over the blonde's beautiful lips. Something was wrong and it did not go unnoticed by Bellamy. </p><p>"Oh, how could he?" Clarke quipped back at Murphy, and he opened his mouth to respond when Bellamy grabbed her hand instead and dragged her into the closest room. It was the room Monty, Harper, and Jordan were staying in. Bellamy closed the door behind him and turned to look at Clarke... she was staring down at the floor as she opened her mouth. "You've been acting weird all day. Ever since we got to the house, you've been avoiding me." </p><p>Bellamy felt his heart sink with guilt. He'd been such an idiot. "Clarke, I-"</p><p>"How did you find out?" she cut him off. </p><p>"Wh-", okay... now he was confused. </p><p>"It was supposed to be a surprise", she said and gave him a sad smile, but it quickly faltered as a tear slid down her cheek. "I thought you'd be happy." </p><p>It broke his heart to see her like this and without hesitation, he walked over and pulled her into his embrace. Her body tensed up in confusion, but she hugged him back. Bellamy snuggled his face into the crook of her neck. "Princess, I love you..., but I'm so confused right now." </p><p>She pulled away just enough to look up at him with bloodshot eyes and the confusion in <em>her eyes</em> was evident. "So... you don't... know?" </p><p>"Know... what?" </p><p>A tiny, genuine, smile made its way to her lips and her eyes crinkled slightly with joy - making it impossible for Bellamy not to smile back. </p><p>"Have you... perhaps noticed that I've gained a little bit of weight lately?" she asked and Bellamy went back to being confused. No, he'd definitely noticed that which made Clarke roll her eyes before he even had time to answer. "Of course you haven't, because you're a perfect gentleman." She fained near annoyance at it, but there was a fond smile taking over her entire face as she looked into his eyes (his heart felt like it skipped a beat). "Bellamy... I'm pregnant." </p><p>Okay, it definitely skipped a beat now. He beamed down at her and felt as if he was gonna cry as well. He pulled her into another hug and almost crushed her into him. She hugged him back, just as tightly... and this moment, this <em>day</em> got even better than he thought. </p><p>"Then why have you been acting so weird today?" she mumbled with her face pressed against his chest. </p><p>A chuckle escaped him as he loosened his grip on her to look down into her face again. His hand went digging through his pocket as he answered: "I was just nervous." </p><p>She wrinkled her forehead in confusion, until he pulled out the small velvet box. A gasp escaped her, but before he could say a word, get on his knees, or even so much as open the box, she threw her arms around his neck with a loud: "Yes! Of course, you dumbass!"</p><p>"Josie!" they could hear Monty shouting outside. "You owe me ten bucks, I told you she would call him a dumbass!"</p><p>"Shit!" Josephine called back. "I was so sure that she would go with jackass!"</p><p>"Aw, come on!" Miller cut in. "She stopped with jackass after college!"</p><p>Bellamy sighed and let go of Clarke. "I need a break from our friends." </p><p>She smiled and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips. He responded as he pressed her body against his. A smile spread across his lips mid-kiss, and he could feel her grinning against his as well. </p><p>"Our kid better be a nerd", he whispered as they broke the kiss. </p><p>"Oh, please", she rolled her eyes. "With our genes that kid is gonna be the hottest nerd in school."</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>December 24th, 2019</strong>
</p><p>"We're here!" Clarke shouted as they entered Josephine and Gabriel's giant house.</p><p>"Ah!" Octavia came running from the living room with her arms out-stretched. She basically crashed into Clarke. "It feels like I haven't seen you guys in ages." </p><p>Clarke snorted as Bellamy, holding Madi in his arms, rolled his eyes. "We had a playdate last week, O. It's normal to not be too co-dependent on your big brother." </p><p>Octavia punched him, hard, in the arm that he wasn't using to hold Madi. Then she grabbed the baby out of his grip and held onto the girl lovingly. "Is your daddy a jackass? Yes, he is." </p><p>She walked away with the baby, leaving Clarke grinning as Bellamy groaned. "Don't tell her stuff like that!" </p><p>"She was gonna learn that sooner or later!" Octavia shouted back, before entering the living room where it was Josephine's turn to shout: "Aw, little Blake-Griffin!"</p><p>Clarke grabbed Bellamy's hand with a smile before dragging him towards their friends. Before entering the living room, they exchanged a smile and he leaned forward to kiss her sweetly. </p><p>"I love you... so much", he whispered with his forehead against hers once they broke the kiss. </p><p>She smiled widely, the way he always made her do. "I love you too... so much." </p><p>"Come on, idiots!" Murphy called. "We need you to settle a debate for us!"</p><p>"Of course, you do!" Raven said aggressively. "Why don't you just win the debate with better arguments, you coward!"</p><p>Bellamy smiled and Clarke mirrored his expression... they were never truly gonna grow up with this group of friend - thank God for that!</p>
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